Music that moves us.

25 Years ago today…

6a00cd96ff74b64cd50100a7f2287e000e-320pi“Hello” by ex-Commodore, Lionel Richie was the number one song in America. How is this relevant? It’s not. The song is insanely cheesy and amazingly sappy, but the video takes the cake. Read on for a completely unnecessary dissection of the “Hello” video that puzzled me in my youth. Actually, it still does.

In the above video/art film, Lionel portrays some kind of drama professor that favors trendy sweaters sometimes worn with a loosely draped blazer (sleeves rolled, for good measure) and develops an eerie obsession with one of his blind students. He creepily stalks her around campus, into her dance class, into a class room and then calls her that night, only to croon poetically to her, “hello, is it me you’re looking for?” Surpsisingly, she’s taken by this mysterious call, naturally not knowing that the man on the end has also uttered the phrase, “you’re once, twice, three times a lady” as well. We imagine that neither of them slept well that night. He’s thinking ‘what sweater-blazer combo do I wear tomorrow’ and tattooes her name on his ass with a cold blade. She on the other hand is thrilled by her late croon session with the mystery man and cannot control her inner desire to sculpt something soon. We cut away to Lionel singing his heart out to an empty classroom, but before long he’s summoned to scultpure class. We see that the lovely, sight impaired fawn has sculpted something that resembles a cross between the Creature Of The Black Lagoon and Billy Dee Williams. The head is probably two times larger than the average cranium and has taken up much of the art department’s clay budget. The perv drama instructor is impressed with said sculpture and the student places her soothing hands to his massage his face and calm his nerves. After they share a millisecond of bliss, panther tense from years of pent up carnal desire, the instructor rips the students hands from his cheeks and implores again, “Hello! is it me you’re looking for?”. We can only imagine that she fled, to seek protective custody and he walks the streets now. Angry and bitter. Sad, really.

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